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Product details
File Size: 1117 KB
Print Length: 245 pages
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company; 1 edition (November 16, 2015)
Publication Date: November 16, 2015
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B01379L1AS
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#547,027 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
Most books on mindfulness are about sitting or solitary practices. Desmond's dialogue based mindfulness is a delightful deviation. I've most recently been trained in brainspotting which also encourages mindfulness of body sensations, but once someone understands the process, the therapist visually attunes to what is happening with little interaction. Desmond promotes interaction with statements like, "Tell me what sensations you notice in your body." When the clients respond, Desmond repeats their words to help increase the focus on those sensations. The same kind of interaction can happen with thoughts--you are wondering...., remembering....scolding yourself. You can notice those thoughts without agreeing with them. Desmond goes on to demonstrate compassionate dialogues and dialogue with personality parts.I gave this book 5 stars because it will give me a more nuanced approach to the way I am currently practicing psychotherapy and it introduced me to two new concepts: (1) fast v. slow thinking and (2) the idea that you cannot have a therapeutic alliance without agreeing on a goal or focus for every session. However there were other things that were lacking for me:--He often closes his eyes in session with clients. I find I see so much when I'm watching clients process.--He does not give the scientific explanation of why awareness of body sensations reduces them. (It is because the insula observes body sensations and brings them to homeostasis).--He has some interesting statistics but doesn't clearly reference the sources, which I researched on my own.--Finally, the personality parts dialogues were lacking for me because this is my area of specialization.If readers want to know more about parts work with built in compassionate resources, I recommend EMPOWERING DIALOGUES WITHIN. It takes compassionate ego-state work a whole nother level..
I used this book to learn the self-compassion technique for myself. The book is clear and accessible and nicely grounded in interesting and inspiring research, and then the technique is really powerful and helped me touch/explore/heal some old wounded spots easily and beautifully. It works great as self-help.
A review for Amazon by Jerry Woolpy of Self-Compassion in Psychotherapy by Tim DesmondIn the forward by Richard Davidson he claims that “as little as 30 minutes a day for 2 weeks is sufficient…to change the brain and induce more prosocial and altruistic behavior.†The book, directed at therapy, tells us how this finding can be used for us and by us. The thesis, which is demonstrated by snippets of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, is that by awakening self-compassion we can revise harmful memories and relieve personal suffering. It is based on the Buddhist teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh and the Dali Lama who have shown that directed meditation can be used to recognize suffering and send it compassion, thus generating happiness and attention to the positive elements of life.“Self-compassion is intimately related to the practice of mindfulness, both of which have garnered deep respect from some of the most influential voices in the mental health field. Mindfulness can be understood as a special way of paying attention. We focus our awareness in the present moment, with complete acceptance of our thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. Rather than being lost in regrets about the past or worries about the future, we are completely present in the here and now. Through developing this way of paying attention, we become more grounded, peaceful, resilient, and loving… you cannot have mindfulness without compassion, and the practice…of compassion always begins with compassion toward oneself… Although self-compassion sounds like a pretty simple idea, it isn’t easy for most of us. Instead, we have a tendency to judge and criticize ourselves for any way that we fail to measure up to our idealized standards. Even those of us who really value self-compassion can be downright mean to ourselves sometimes…negative and judgmental thinking…can lead to depression, anxiety, addiction, and even suicide… Luckily, it is possible to learn how to relate to ourselves with kindness and compassion†(page 3).Unlike self-esteem, which can cause problems, self-compassion is about evaluating oneself with a kind and forgiving attitude. It is not based on favorable comparisons to others. When we have compassion for ourselves we can begin to have compassion for others, first for our loved ones, then for neutral parties, even for our enemies, and ultimately for all living things. The Dali Lama defines compassion as “a sensitivity to the suffering of self and others, with a deep commitment to try to relieve it†(page 7). Understanding a person’s suffering helps to explain how they are acting. Without it we can easily misunderstand why they do what they do, particularly as it may seem selfish or cruel. We may hear that a person wanted to cause pain to others because it is the only way they could imagine to take care of their own needs. This therapy offers an alternative.The Dali Lama says that we all suffer and we all want to be happy. “When we can see that other people are just like we are—that they suffer and want to be happy—what emerges is a special kind of alliance. We want them to have relief from their suffering and to be happy just like they do†(page 9).In explaining his theory of therapy by compassion, Desmond put it this way, “It doesn’t matter if the source of that compassion is oneself or another person. What matters is that somehow compassion makes direct contact with our pain†(page 16).Jaak Panksepp has discovered key element in the neuroscience of compassion. He found an emotional circuit shared by all mammals, called the Care Circuit. It generates oxytocin and endogenous opioids that soothe negative emotions and produce calm and contentment. This circuit is activated by self-compassion.Joseph LeDoux has discovered another key element in the neuroscience of compassion. When a memory is recalled it enters a state of changeability and can be associated with what is happening at the time it is recalled. When a negative memory is recalled in the presence of a positive thought it can be reconsolidated into a positive memory.The Care Circuit and the reconsolidation of memory can be combined to transform depression, anxiety, and compulsion into more constructive and positive thoughts and feelings. The book is about how to apply these findings to therapy with amazing results.
A fantastic resource for therapists looking to integrate a focus on self-compassion into their practices. This book is beautifully written and filled with case examples that bring the concepts to life. As a psychodynamic and relational psychotherapist whose private practice is focused primarily on patients who are successful but feel empty, I've found these concepts a wonderful fit and a natural complement to the work I'm already doing.
Fantastic book. Desmond wonderfully demonstrates the use of self-compassion based interventions in psychotherapy. It has been instrumental in changing how I approach both my therapy practice and my personal life. I would recommend this to all clinicians and believe that the information Desmond presents can be beneficial for everyone, whether or not they are a psychotherapist.
As an ordinary person, not a therapist, I am absolutely astounded at the wisdom Tim Desmond uses for helping others.The tender mercy of self compassion he explains, becomes more and more clear and usable, and helpful to me. The practical steps to take; the stories he tells are the greatest gifts to give the world. I, so needed this...The greatest gift I can give is self compassion.I read and re-read each story and continue to go deeper.Every story brings up another facet to make a crystal clear diamond. This book is a gem for me. Much gratitude.
If you're looking to begin to understand or even enhance your grasp of self-compassion work, you've found an outstanding resource. Applications to depression, anxiety, trauma, shame/guilt are all here, along with an accessible explanation of the neuroscience behind it all. Highly recommended!
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